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In Uncategorized on June 7, 2010 at 3:05 pm

The Prime Minister, David Cameron, today warned that huge public spending cuts will change the British way of life for generations.

‘I face a massive reduction in the number of times I can mention my private fortune of thirty million quid – a figure which has already been ruthlessly pared to the bone,’ he told reporters.

‘For instance, before the election, I scarcely talked about it at all. But now, I can’t even refer to it in passing.’

The chancellor, George Osborne, said: ‘The British way of life is about to change permanently. People who used to get filthy rich fouling up the banking system are now having to get filthy rich from enormous private sector contracts issued because the government’s had to cut public spending to zilch thanks to the foul-ups in the banking system.

‘So, basically, we’re all toast. You’re toast as in charred lumps of bread, whereas I’m toast as in clinking a brimming champagne glass in celebratory mood.

‘Our message is simple: we’re all toast together. David and I are taking this terribly, terribly seriously.’

  1. This is what I needed: a sharp dose of reality – filtered through the excellent Si Heywood reality machine, of course 🙂

    In recent weeks I have been blinded by the shock of seeing Tory politicians acting humbly and co-operatively. Time to wake up and face the music, however. A turd wearing hundreds and thousands is still a turd.

    Perhaps the bright side is Their dogma of small government. Of course, Their assumption is that Big Business will take over. But I suspect there is also an opening for our local communities to pick up some power, if we’re canny and if we care enough.

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