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POLICE CONTAIN MASSIVE THREAT TO WINDOWSILL PAINT-JOB AS SOMEONE PROTESTS ABOUT SOMETHING

In Uncategorized on November 11, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Metropolitan Police were yesterday reported to be ‘entirely unharmed’ as efforts continued to contain the massive threat to public order and common decency posed by somebody protesting about something.

Anarchists, driven by a consuming sense of bitter injustice and grievance against something, went on a massive rampage against window-sills, plant pots, staplers, hole-punches and water-fountains at Conservative Party Headquarters, seeking publicity and media attention for something.

David Cameron, the Prime Minister, said: ‘It is entirely wrong for a minority of ill-mannered baboons to seek to spoil the fun of the law-abiding majority, who are only anxious to use peaceful means to attract publicity and raise public concern for their cause, whatever it is.

‘Decent British people everywhere will breathe a sigh of relief to learn that the threat of violence has been largely contained, and peaceful protesters are now free to continue their peaceful efforts to create a peaceful public debate about whatever it was they were worrying their little heads about.

‘There is no excuse for this kind of destructive behaviour, which only serves to get these sort of protests in the news.

‘Why, only last week, twenty thousand pacifists marched peacefully past Faslane main gate, and it just about got two lines on bbc.co.uk, which were taken down after twenty minutes to keep precious file space for updates on the Coles’ divorce. And what was it preserved this all-important and resonantly British sense of reticence and fair play? Nonviolence, that’s what. If one of the marchers had so much as chucked a pebble at the TRG, it’d have been all over the ten o’clock bulletins. And that would never have done. The British tradition of freedom of speech depends entirely on the concomitant responsibility of society at large to pay no attention whatsoever. We all have our part to play so that anyone can say whatever they want provided nobody’s listening. Violent protest upsets this delicate balance of rights and responsibilities and, unless firmly checked by the smack of firm government, creates the very real risk that things might actually change a bit.’

Efforts to contain the violence were continuing last night.

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