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Archive for January, 2011|Monthly archive page


In Uncategorized on January 26, 2011 at 7:16 am

Questions were asked in Parliament yesterday about the sexual behaviour of undercover police officers infiltrating environmental protest groups.

An individual known only as ‘Steve Mackay’ spent 10 years living a double life as a member of environmental pressure group Back To The Caves. But in reality Steve Mackay was a covert surveillance officer with who had only joined the pressure group because he was desperate for a shag.

Sir Paul Condom, Chief Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, said:

“As you can probably imagine, most secret policemen have limited opportunities to socialise, and at the end of the day they’re flesh and blood like you and me, so after a while they tend to get a bit frisky.

“Hence the importance of full and proper surveillance of the protest activities of a bunch of ideologically unconventional, adrenalin-fuelled twentysomethings.

“Of course, these remarks should not be read as referring to any particular operation. We completely respect the peaceful right to protest, provided, as I’ve always said, that nobody notices or pays any attention, and your protest never comes close to actually make a difference.”

‘Steve Mackay’ had relations with protesters of both sexes over a period of years. He vanished in 2008 after Wikileaks revealed that they were all undercover police officers.

Protesters yesterday were left feeling deeply betrayed and hurt, said a spokesperson for Back To The Caves.

“I wouldn’t have minded, I suppose,” said Elsie Norman, 78, a retired Quaker librarian and grandmother, “but I was too busy trying to stop the apocalyptic meltdown of human civilisation.

“And besides, it’s different at my age.”