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‘PRINCE’S SPEECH’ SWEEPS BOARDS AT OSCARS

In Uncategorized on March 1, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Britflick The Prince’s Speech, starring Colin Hugh Firth-Grant and Nigella Plant-Page-Bonham-John-Paul-Jones, cleaned up at this year’s Oscars, winning gongs for Best Picture, Second Best Picture, Best Script, Best Actors, Best Costumes, Best Everything Else You Need To Make A Movie, and Best Give Them Another Oscar.

Set during the global rise of totalitarianism and the total collapse of the world economy, the film tells the heart-rending story of the Prince of Wales, played by Colin Hugh Firth-Grant. Norman Lapont plays his voice coach.

The film opens with a haunting scene in which the future King has to give a speech in public. It slowly becomes painfully apparent that all ten thousand shocked listeners can tell exactly what he is saying. The Prince refers twice to his frequent and cordial conversations with his own organic potatoes, fondly recalls the see-through dress his future wife wore at their first meeting, expresses enthusiastic support for fox-hunting and the use of Gatling guns against striking miners, and opines that concentration camps were ‘jolly good for the Jews,’ before being hustled away from the mike by concerned aides.

Following this humiliating debacle, a pioneering Australian speech therapist is brought in to ensure that the Prince’s speech is rendered inarticulate to the point of an indistinct, incomprehensible mumble. In the course of intense training sessions at his shabby Harley Street consulting room, Aussie maverick Lawrence Lodge eschews court protocol, which demands that the Prince be addressed as ‘Your Majesty’s Most Imperial Excellency,’ and repeatedly calls him by his family name of ‘You There.’ The Prince becomes speechless with fury. Normality is thus restored, and the film ends on an upbeat note as political revolution is averted, the monarchy is saved, and Britain starts a six-year world war culminating in eighty-five million deaths.

The Prince’s Speech is based loosely on real events.

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