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In Uncategorized on December 19, 2011 at 11:50 am

Whales in their thousands yesterday signed a petition to the international community to stop “scientific experiments” on the Japanese.

Big Wal, a 12-ton adult male minke whale, said: “We first noticed something was wrong with disruptions in their patterns of seasonal migration. Around this time of year, we normally observe them sailing out into the ocean in big boats and shooting us in the head with ginormous steel harpoons, before rendering us down and taking us off for ‘scientific experiments’ in restaurants and food retail establishments all over the South Pacific.

“But this year there’s been hardly a peek from them. This is really worrying.

“We did some preliminary studies and found that they’d been inadvertently frying themselves in experiments in furnishing their homes and businesses with heat, light and power for various domestic and industrial appliances.

“It’s got to stop. The Japanese are an endangered species.

“And we kinda know how that feels.”


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