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In Uncategorized on December 8, 2012 at 11:25 am

Horror has greeted the tragic death of the nurse who forwarded prank calls from Australian DJs pretending to be the Queen.

Distraught journalists the world over demanded to know:

‘Who do we blame now?

‘Oh yeah. The Australian DJs.


Macaulay McKelvin, a journalist, said:

‘This blethering idiot of a nurse couldn’t apparently spot the difference between the Duke of Edinburgh and Crocodile Dundee. As a result, a real princess was needlessly irked.

‘That’s today’s NHS for you. Immigrants led by communists. Okay, the royals don’t use the NHS.

‘But you get my point. This so-called nurse should be publicly birched. She’s going to regret this, I promise you. I’ve got a lot of clout.

‘… she’s what?

‘How did that happen?

‘You are kidding me.

‘Right. In that case, this poor woman was clearly vulnerable already. Or something.

‘These so-called DJs should be publicly birched. They’re going to regret this, I promise you.

‘Phew. That was close. Why wasn’t I briefed about this?’

Sir Donald Starchy, a constitutional expert, said:

‘It is indeed tragic that their royal Highnesses should be thus cruelly subjected to the full glare of publicity, when all they’ve ever done is go about their normal lives seeking the full glare of publicity.’

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were reported to be ‘deeply saddened and concerned’ at the news, telling friends: ‘This was supposed to be all about us.’


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