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‘STOP THIS FILTH,’ SAYS DAILY MAIL, WITH REFERENCE TO DAILY MAIL

In Uncategorized on December 17, 2012 at 12:50 pm

The Daily Mail has loudly demanded an end to online porn such as its own website.

‘It is a disgrace that young minds are being polluted by degrading and immoral images such as those on which we rely to maximise traffic on our site,’ said editor Paul Murky.

‘As a mark of respect, we have a strict policy of publishing only fully-clothed images of Her Majesty the Queen, and, of course, members of the royal family. But otherwise, ladies, it’s strictly beachwear, I’m afraid. Or wardrobe malfunctions. Unless you can squeeze out a plunging neckline at an awards ceremony. Or a drunken taxi-door knicker shot. Something like that.

‘We take a keen and healthy interest in fashion and beauty. We don’t publish this stuff to titillate our male readers. We publish it to keep our female readers in a state of bitterly clandestine self-loathing.

‘We’re not called the Mail for nothing, you know.’

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