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In Uncategorized on December 18, 2012 at 10:00 am

North Korea yesterday issued a strongly-worded condemnation of Israeli military action in Gaza and the Occupied Territories.

‘It’s not fair,’ a North Korean government spokesman said.

‘What do we have to do to be the bad guys?

‘Look. We’ve turned our whole country into one giant Auschwitz-on-the-Mekong. And we haven’t done this for any reason. Even by our own twisted logic, we don’t have to do it. The worst thing to come over the South Korean border lately is some pirate mp3s of Gangnam Style.

‘North Korea is one big torture chamber because we like it that way.

‘And how badly does that piss you guys off? Mm, let’s see …

‘… ah, yes.

‘Not at all. Not one little bit.

‘For f***’s sake.

‘You could at least post a Facebook meme about us, or something.

‘Look. I’m chucking this gigantic bomb all over the sky. Up it goes. Boom. Down it comes. Bang.

‘Oh, I give up.’

Julie Merriweather, of the Palestinian People’s Total Solidarity Campaign, said:

‘Um … I dunno. They’re Chinese, aren’t they? Or nearly Chinese. It’s probably in their culture.

‘Anyway, it’s different. I can tell you that.’

The Reverend Dr George Quibble, Archbishop of Canterbury, said:

‘It is, indeed, among the more tragic ironies of history that the Jewish people have not been more ennobled by the suffering we’ve inflicted on them.’


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