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In Uncategorized on January 3, 2013 at 9:24 am

Britain failed to drink a better world into existence over the Christmas break, experts have conceded.

Despite strenuous efforts, Britons sobered up and stepped out for the first time in a fortnight, to find that the money has still run out, government is still the preserve of bloated, plutocratic bigots, and everywhere is still flooded, owing to the mass extinction which faces every species apart from the cockroach.

‘I had a headache and felt a bit queasy, but otherwise nothing had changed,’ said Mark Whalley (37), a carpet fitter from South Manchester. ‘Probably I didn’t drink enough.

‘Oh well. There’s always next year.’


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