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PANIC PANIC SPREADS ABOUT SNOW PANIC PANIC

In Uncategorized on January 18, 2013 at 8:48 pm

Britain was BURIED today under a SNOWY-WHITE CARPET of panic-stricken newsprint. FAMILIES were TRAPPED IN THEIR HOMES under SIX FOOT DRIFTS of paper.

‘We had to DIG OURSELVES OUT from under the papers,’ said Mark Hastings (34), a double-glazing fitter from Hemel Hempstead. ‘Good job we only had a light dusting of snow. The kids were really hacked off because they had to go to school, but I had nothing on, so I strolled down to our well-stocked local supermarket for a loaf of bread and a pint of milk.

‘I only bought the one pint, although there was loads of milk on the shelves, since I see no reason why suppliers should be unable to respond competently to the natural and inevitable minor fluctuations in consumer demand, and the transaction was not completed with any sense of urgency.

‘Ho hum.’

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