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In Uncategorized on January 21, 2013 at 5:37 pm

Western governments are locked in high-level negotiations over what to call torture in the forthcoming North African war.

‘We can’t really keep calling it Extraordinary Rendition,’ said the UK Defence minister, Paul Salmon. ‘That’s so 2010. And anyway, everyone knows what it means now.

‘We’re in very close discussion with all of our allies. We’ve been toying with Remarkable Rendition and Unusual Rendition and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Rendition.

‘But nothing really seems to really capture the spirit of the thing, which involves rounding up a bunch of innocent locals, bagging their heads up, making them stand on their heads naked for hours on end before beating them to death with live electric cable.

‘We would run an open competition to suggest a term, Big Society-style, but that would sort of defeat the object, wouldn’t it?’

Mr Boris Jonsson, the mayor of London, said: ‘F*** it, just call it the Final Solution or something. That usually does the trick, doesn’t it? Blimey.’


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