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In Uncategorized on February 5, 2013 at 8:56 am

Lingering doubts about Prince Harry’s paternity were conclusively laid to rest yesterday when the young prince was proven beyond doubt to be every bit as useless as Prince Charles.

‘The match is exact. There’s only 0.01% possibility of error,’ said Professor Jane Gresham of the Institute for the Study of Evolutionary Dead Ends. ‘James Hewitt may have been a shark-eyed, priapismic, narcissistic sociopath, and Harry, along with most royals, certainly seems to have some of those traits in common. But this is just what scientists call convergence. It doesn’t really tell us anything.

‘The tripping up over the fire escape thing is conclusive, however.

‘Only a genuine child of Charles could be such a complete charlie – without even noticing.’

Richard III was unavailable for comment.


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