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In Uncategorized on February 12, 2013 at 7:45 pm

The government’s shipping policy was in disarray last night after the Court of Appeal ruled that non-aristocrats could not be lawfully chained to benches and flogged into rowing with long oars.

Ms. Julie Ben Hur (24), of Stoke Poges, took the government to court when she was forced to give up a six-month unpaid internship, working as personal assistant to the Secretary General of the United Nations, to ply third oar from the back on HMS Cleopatra, a 420-ton galleon designed to fight Saracen pirates.

The government vowed to appeal and change the law.

‘Ms Ben Hur is nothing but an uppity, workshy prole,’ said Chris Greying-Heavily, the Employment Minister. ‘Opportunities like that are clearly intended for persons of independent means, like Louise Mensch. The idea of common people doing that stuff on benefits frankly turns my stomach. Her sort belong on the rowing benches or down the salt mines, next to some incredibly fat, grubby, bald man with a whip, banging a big kettledrum. And as soon as we can rush some ill-considered piece of legislative detritus through Parliament, that’s exactly where she’s going to be.’

A spokesman for the Palace said: ‘Her Majesty can’t see what all the fuss is about.’


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