Here is ...

BARCLAYS END ‘FAT CAT’ CULTURE

In Uncategorized on February 13, 2013 at 8:05 am

Barclays have ushered in a new era of ‘obese feline’ banking to replace the ‘fat cat’ culture of years gone by.

A spokesman for the troubled bank said:

‘If that doesn’t work, we’ll just go over to a ‘tubby moggy’ culture. Or an ‘overweight kitty’ culture. Or a ‘small furry domesticated carnivorous quadruped that ate all the pies’ culture.

‘It’s been choppy waters for Barclays lately, everyone knows that, but we have every confidence that we can come through this, and the bank’s long-term future is secure.

‘It’ll be years before we’ve worked all the way through Roget’s Thesaurus.’

AND FINALLY, IN OTHER NEWS IN BRIEF

A spokesman for Tesco’s yesterday announced new measures making it illegal to employ warehouse staff without keeping them chipped.

‘It’s just a digital update of the old dog licence,’ the retailer told reporters. ‘Nothing to worry about.

‘It’s just in case they bite.’

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: