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In Uncategorized on February 14, 2013 at 5:34 pm

The Conservative Party was yesterday celebrating the political ‘comeback of the century’ after they managed to find someone worse than Chris Huhne to stand in the Eastleigh by-election.

The party chairman, Eric Pimple, said: ‘It was a tough job, but we’re satisfied we rose to the challenge.

‘Nobody now will be able to say that the Lib Dems are the nastiest party in the Coalition.’

The Conservatives have vowed to scrupulously avoid negative campaigning in the by-election, but everyone has told them not to bother.

‘They’re the Conservatives,’ a source said yesterday. ‘Everyone knows what they’re like. So they might as well just do some negative campaigning.

‘If they only ever mentioned things they genuinely felt positive about, then they’d have to just abandon politics and run a series of seminars on Downton Abbey, Victorian prisons, and the bombing of Hamburg. Things like that.’


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