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CAMERON TRADE VISIT

In Uncategorized on February 19, 2013 at 9:13 am

Mr David Cameron, the Prime Minister, touched down at Doncaster yesterday leading a trade delegation to Britain’s former colony, Northern England.

Speaking from the tarmac at Robin Hood airport, he celebrated the ‘historic links’ between Britain and Northern England.

‘A generation ago,’ he said. ‘men of my age and class would have regarded you lot as a bunch of bestial, tripe-munching semi-humans.

‘And we still do. But we can’t say that kind of thing out loud any more, so we’re up here to press flesh, and shake you all down for a few more bob.’

The news came as the Department for International Development announced fresh curbs on the numbers of Northern English who would be allowed to emigrate to Britain.

Mr Boris Jonnson, the Mayor of Britain, said:

‘We must celebrate the unique cultural contribution of the Northern English to British life, whatever it is. Sir Danny Boyle‘s from up there somewhere, isn’t he?’

Sheffield Council have been unavailable for comment since their landline was disconnected.

The Prime Minister of India, Mr Manmohan Singh, said: ‘Who is that guy? Anyway, gotta dash. I’m meeting the Belgians at half eleven.’

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